We cannot fight them. We have no, how you say ... ah ... we have no weapons,” the Captain remonstrated. “They will—”“We have the ship!” I interjected. “This is a huge steel weapon,” I explained. “I have seen the wake when we were under full power, and we are much ... taller than their little boats. They cannot come up our sides if we choose to not let them!”“Sir, we have no weapons ... and they have the machine guns!”I hauled out my Glock and showed it to their shocked amazement. “We have weapons,” I retorted. But a .45 caliber semi-automatic is not a machine gun. He was right about that and what they had, or might have, outclassed anything I had available.On the other hand ... fire was a weapon—a decidedly deadly one, in fact.I’d had an idea. In one of my posts when I held the rank of Commander, the Detective Bureau came under my jurisdiction. One of the cases I became familiar with was an investigation into the sins of a certain young man who wanted to set fire to the house of a. .” And the mother cuts him off and says, “I know, I know, you pissed out a bee bee. It’s my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you’ll be fine.” But then son says, “No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!”An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle’s butt and asks, “How high up are we?” “About 2,000 feet,” the eagle replies. The mouse replies, “You ain’t sh*ttin’ me, are you?”A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices strange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: “You’ve been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We’ll have to cut it off.” The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan. The doctor examines him and says, “You’ve been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other.
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